my name is parker, and in heathus i trust. burgahs for tha boyz. most of the time you can find me trolling as james franco, it's what i do and mila kunis loves me for it. i've been a brit trapped in canada for many years and i've begun to think of the west coast as my second home. please note that i have the most fucked up accent because of this (britain + montreal + vancouver = bad). i'm like a beardless version of christian bale and because of this you will never ever hear me speak - i'm a mo fuckin' mute. i often smuggle beaver pelts, syrup and other special novelty items to my friends in the states. i have also recently created the church of charlie sheen, we are currently recruiting worshipers. i'm prince harry and i do love me some club sluts. i'm jon snow, all dark and brooding and shit. band of brothers and the pacific take up most of my time.





i would now like to take this opportunity to introduce you to the jwoww to my pauly d and most of all the MILA KUNIS to my james franco, for her home is within a tattoo on my chest. don't try to come between us for we will reign death and destruction upon your land. :)



I PARKER, AM YOUR NUMBER ONE GUIDO.